Caring Woes

"Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and you keep crushing them and keep them in the dark till they mature into something that you'd finally like to have dinner with."

Me: You don't care for me anymore.
Him: Hmmmm.
Me: See, all you can say when I'm hurt is "hmmmm"
Him: Hmmmmm.
Me: See, again!!! I am sick, and I am alone. And you don't even care.
Him: Hmmmmmmmm. Ok.
Me: You don't even listen to me anymore. And to think we could ever get back to the days of talking all night. You remember those times when you used to keep me up all night on the phone, and I would go and sleep in class the next day?
Him: Yeah, but I need my sleep these days.
Me: What about when I needed my sleep those days?
Him: You should have told me. I would have let you go to sleep.
Me: But we were having such nice conversations, why would anyone *want* to go to sleep?
Him: I don't know, I didn't force you to stay up and talk to me.
Me: So are you telling me I'm forcing you now?
Him: Give it up. I'm tired. I need to be at work at 8 tomorrow morning.
Me: See, you don't care.
Him: Hmmmmmmm.

I have often asked It if he's going to marry me.

I dream of the house near the beach with a garden out front.A vision of my children and a multitude of dogs running across the white picket fences as I watch wistfully from the kitchen window while I bake muffins for tea .And when It comes back from work, I'll run to the door and fling myself into his arms.

I dream of the adorable little flat in the heart of the city.Plush leather sofa in the living room.An entertainment 'room' with our very own bar counter and high stools.Friends and family drop in for dinner and drinks all the time.And life is very chilled out.

I dream of the our house in the hills.Pristine.Scenic.Picture perfect.Cuddling up in the warm fire of the fireplace.Drinking hot chocolate (spiked of course) and talking.

I get nightmares about the joint family.

So whenever I bring up the topic to It, he ignores it.So I'm a little too young to be talking about getting married, but don't we all have little imaginary hearts circling our head when we are in love?

Will you marry me?
No.
I'm asking you nicely.Don't make me twist your hand.
Lets not talk about it please!
Fine.I'll ask you in two days.

I've figured out what works best.
Four months later and a few days ago, we hug.And we kiss.And it is probably the longest we've ever had.Several minutes.Felt like eons.Made us weak to the knees.And the best part is that after two and a something years and a million kisses, it still feels like the first time.

Will you marry me now?
Yes! Of course.
Really?
Yeah.Now shh.Don't spoil the moment.Shh
Ooooooooo! And we'll have a lot of babies?
The glazed look left his eyes
You just had to say it didnt you?

Marriage and babies.It didnt have to lose his libido over it.
Men.

I come off as highly needy

"I love you."
"Hmmmm."
"I said I love you."
"I know"
"And?"
"And what?"
"Aren't you going to say something?"
"Like what?"
"Like I love you too."
"No."
"NO?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because you know it."
"But I want to hear it."
"I'm going to watch T.V.I will call you tommorrow."
And he hangs up.

I pick up my cellphone and furiously type.
You don't love me.

Dont irritate.

You don't care that I'm leaving.It doesnt bother you.Will you cry when I'm gone?What will you do without me? Who will you talk to? Who will you hang out with?

My friends.Stop messaging.I'll talk to you tommorrow.Goodnight.L u.

L u? WTF! Fine.I'll settle for L u for today.

I used to tell my boyfriend two years ago that he was an 'addiction'.
"I am sooo addicted to you." I had whispered breathlessly into my cellphone under the covers.
We now mutually agree that 'our relationship has become a habit that we just cant shake off'.

Is it drab? Yes.
Is it exciting? Yes.
Do you love him? Yes.
Do you hate him? Yes.
Are you bored? Yes.
Are you comfortable with being bored? Yes.
Do you dress up for him? Yes.
Does he notice? Not in the past two years other than "You need to do your upper lip."
Do you want to get married to him? Yes.
And the quintessential question...
Do you shave your legs for him? NO!

Does this define my relationship?

We have reached (rather HE has reached) that point when it becomes 'ok' to burp or fart in my company.This morning, we were having a wonderful conversation only to have it flushed out by the toilet.It is NOT OK to talk when you are in the toilet!I should have known by the weird echo.
When will men learn?
I am going to call him 'IT'.
When will It learn